we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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