and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
