Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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