Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
