Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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