The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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