I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think my mom watched the whole time
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
