Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
