Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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