He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
