yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
