that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
