I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
