I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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