Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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