hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
