Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
