New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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