physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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