i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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