So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
