she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
