she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
