I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
