You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
