Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
