Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
