I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.