Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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