maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf