If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.