: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
