Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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