i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize