someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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