i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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