all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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