do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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