I hate all girls vehemently.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
