So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
