Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
