TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
