My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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