you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
