4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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