She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
