yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize