He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
