Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
