is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
