I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
