When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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