Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize