We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
