Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
