I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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