Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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